Birthdays

I have a new badge; it's like a Brownie Badge. My "I've grown up now" badge, I guess.

Some people say that a birthday is just a day.

I beg to differ.

My birthday is magic. Everybody's birthday is magic, most just don't know it. Mine is obvious, though, and everyone celebrates it! It's a special kind of holiday wherein you aren't required to give anyone presents, magical creatures are a given, and drinking beer is encouraged. It's a day of celebration, wearing green, tales of leprechauns, Ireland, the conversion of Paganism to Christianity, four leaf clovers, pots of gold at the end of a rainbow, and little men with red hair, green hats, patton leather shoes with buckles, and a slight evil streak. It's a lucky day. I feel special for being born on such a misunderstood, yet celebrated day. (That's me - misunderstood and celebrated haha)

I feel even more special that I was born two days after my mom; like I was her birthday present. I'm not sure she agrees about the present part; I guess presents aren't supposed to cause you labor.

This year I turned 40.

And, that's the funny thing. I'm 40 - YEARS OLD! I'm walking around, being 40, in what I guess is a 40 year old body, but I still feel like a kid, pretending to be a grownup. Most of my life, I have felt like I was walking around in a dream - other times, I felt like I was making stuff up as I went along, or just didn't get what was happening as it was happening. I think I didn't really "wake up" until I was about 22...the age my mother was when she gave birth to me. My brave mom. I don't think she was really ready for that, but she rocked it anyway.

So now, I'm older. Like a kid who gets a fake I.D., only the age on the I.D. is obviously older than they are. (There's a juicy story about my little brother in there somewhere) But I really am my age. I have to keep telling myself that.

Regardless of what age I am or what age I feel, I am happier right now than I have ever been. I have an amazing child. I have an amazing job. I have an amazing life. I have an amazing man. I wonder how old he feels? I wonder how old anyone feels?

I think I'll find out.